


The Reason Why

by NoMoreTears707



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:50:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreTears707/pseuds/NoMoreTears707
Summary: Every time they have sex, in the background, lies the only, great reason why they continue to do so, the one that perfectly expresses everything else, love, desire, gratitude...Eruri, post Female Titan Arc
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	The Reason Why

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [La razón](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440461) by [NoMoreTears707](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreTears707/pseuds/NoMoreTears707). 

> Thanks for open this link! ❤️
> 
> And forgive my English issues, please. I made my best. :')

**T**hey have fucked for love, for sadness, for boredom, for mere arousal, for the need to relax, for vice, for having nothing better to do. They have been fucking four years, and they have done it for all possible reasons.

Except one.

Too many things in a very short time; in Stohess, innocent lives have been lost because of the Female Titan, the one who now sleeps inside a mysterious crystal. The first night they are alone in the room that Erwin has at the Survey Corps branch located in the Capital, it's easy to fall on the bed, it's easy to feel that the clothes get in their way, it's easy to need, to hurry up; it always is, even if they still don't suspect why. 

What heat burns them with a simple touch; the chemistry between their bodies is excessive, it would be said indomitable. They have never been the kind of people who give sex a leading role in their lives, but having met on the path and having joined with a symbolic bond to the same cause has triggered a hunger that surprises them until today. 

In the Survey Corps, there's no time for titles, or dates, or formalities, or romance. There're no flowers, chocolates, dinners in beautiful places, not even something as simple as the idea of a home for their own, a place that belong only to them, to both; there's room for quick fucks, more urgent than calculated, spontaneous, natural, and not much more than that. There's time to drink tea, to talk about expeditions, to express their vulnerabilities to the other, but they don't need much more.

In their relationship, Erwin and Levi need nothing more than what they have, that possibility to look at the other's eyes and feel that all words are left over.

Today they do, too, as long as they undress each other. Erwin sits Levi on the bed to take off his pants, which he leaves on the chair behind him, next to the jacket that he gave him recently, just after he was injured during the last expedition.

"How are you doing?" Erwin asks when he kisses his ankle, which he holds between his hands as if it were something fragile and precious. 

Bastard. Beautiful bastard.

"A little better," Levi replies. He's serious, he observes everything seriously, as usual, as he does everywhere, because with Erwin there's no need to explain.

Enough with what they do now, with looking at each other.

"I hope you recover soon. I promise to take care of you…"

Levi laughs. As if he didn't do just that every time they fuck, or every time they are out there: worrying about his well-being.

Like when he asked him to recharge his…

Eren, humanity's hope, could have been captured. Mikasa Ackerman, a valuable soldier of impressive talent, could have died. 

His entire squad, none of them could…

"I'm happy; now, at this precise moment, with you, I am," Erwin says when he finishes to undress them both, kneeling on the floor, just before him. "It's selfish, right? It's been too much, things have not been like…"

That look in Erwin's eyes, that one and no other; that gesture of a boy, the one that denotes the guilt that every day, since he became commander, stalks him a little more.

Serious, as always, because he doesn't need to pretend to be something that he's not before him, Levi caresses Erwin's cheek, who looks him in the eye still stroking his ankle, pampering him with delicate caresses of his fingers. 

"It was shitty, all of it," Levi replies, "but I don't blame you."

"Really…?"

Erwin doesn't expect approval from him; he doesn't need it. He knows that Levi doesn't hesitate to confront him if the situation merits it, but it's not the case, not now. Erwin just looks for one thing by saying words like these.

Love.

Since Eren's appearance, everything in the Survey Corps has been frantic. One good-bye after another, one misfortune after another. But Levi has forbid something to Erwin, something very important, very specific.

"Don't apologize," he says.

Because he knows that Erwin Smith is able to bear all kinds of weight on his shoulders. But he also knows that, expedition after expedition, it's increasingly difficult for him to resist. 

Tomorrow they will lose comrades, they know it. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, in a month, in two, in a year. They will lose people who appreciate with all their hearts, comrades and more comrades whose lives will be thrown into the wind, whose deaths will find meaning only if they prevail. Perhaps it's unfair to be happy for an instant, to be so for being like this, naked, together, hugging each other, being the support of the other at the same time, in the same way. Perhaps it's unfair to have what they have.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

They can no longer do anything about it; doing so would mean having to tear out their hearts, and no, they can't.

They will tear out their hearts out there, in exchange for truth, for freedom. Here, like this, they can do nothing but allow this moment of joy. Because it's that, it always is. It's joy.

But things have changed since Eren's appearance: they were used to a sad routine, but routine at last, going out to kill titans, trying to go further and further, put all the effort to recover wall Maria.

Now, they can no longer anticipate anything. They are all the time outside the walls, blind.

Levi kisses Erwin, kisses him by pulling his hair, surrounding his neck with his hands, surrendering to the heat of his lips with the same ease as usual. Erwin hugs him by the waist, squeezing him against his chest, and the heat rises, and rises, and one cock rubs against the other, both hard, ready, eager to burn in the same, all what they cause just for being together. 

Delicately, Erwin lies him on the bed; Levi feels how a mouth sucks his cock, how it takes him to another level, how it brings him closer to that point that gives him so much vertigo, that moment in which he can no longer think, feel, suffer everything that exists outside of them and their bond. That point where there's nothing but happiness. 

How selfish, yes.

But how inevitable it is. 

A bottle of oil opens, a wet finger invades him. Another, and another, moving back and forth, turning around, changing the angle, seeking to touch the most sensitive points that are inside of him. They hit, the fingertips, in the exact place; Levi feels that he falls, that he fades into his own feelings and sensations, all at once. 

He doesn't have to ask for anything, he doesn't have to do anything, nothing at all, more than moan. He does, he lets a sharp, irrational sound, escape from his mouth covered by one of his own hands. After that, Erwin enters completely inside of him with a single movement, as urged to penetrate him as Levi is to receive him. Erwin's chest falls on him, his face sinks into his right shoulder, and Levi hugs him, squeezes him.

Erwin cries, he finds out when he feels the moisture of his tears on his shoulder; he cries, too, he discovers, while the hips collide with more violence than usual.

They have fucked for love, for sadness, for boredom, for mere arousal, for the need to relax, for vice, for having nothing better to do. They have been fucking four years, and they have done it for all possible reasons.

Except one.

They have never fucked for being happy.

Erwin holds him by the hip; he hits his sweet spot, one time, a thousand, a million ones; that extreme is how it feels like. Levi doesn't understand what's happening, doesn't discern; he feels, he feels that the heat is consuming him. Is happiness what suffocates him, it's happiness the one who does it.

Squeezing him, looking into his eyes, the tears of both mingling over his pupils as they contain the screams that no other soldier at the headquarters should hear, they clench their teeth at the same time.

It's too much. 

They kiss without closing their eyes, hips emboldened by the raw emotion that stalks them.

How selfish they are.

How selfish, fuck.

But it's not about fucking, loving each other, counting on the other; it's about being alive after such a difficult situation. They don't know if they will survive, if things will work out, if there will be possibilities against these humans capable of transforming themselves into titans. The Female Titan has already killed enough people, and…

Erwin sinks his fingers in his butt cheeks; Levi contains a scream when he kisses him, his cock caught between their stomachs, Erwin thrusting him fast, furiously. 

"I'm so happy…" Erwin whispers just before biting his neck when he comes, a few seconds before Levi does the same when biting his lower lip.

One against the other, they remain still. Levi combs Erwin's hair with his fingers.

Even if it's selfish, even though they are losing more comrades right now and ignorance means false relief, even if tomorrow they must sacrifice even the other in pursuit of victory, today they are alive.

It's a lie that they have never fucked for being happy.

In fact, it's the biggest reason why they do so. 

To express all what they feel will always make them happy. 

"So do I…" Levi whispers combing Erwin's hair, who kisses his cheek in response.

If they are alive today, no matter how selfish could it be, their expression it's fine.

It's okay.

It's okay to be happy for one last time, again, and again, and again.

It's something they will never regret. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, thank you very much for reading. :')
> 
> I'm still trying to learn how to use the Eruris, they are difficult to me, especially Erwin, or so I feel when I write them, but these little one-shots teach me a lot. Sorry if they are a mess.
> 
> If you read it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️


End file.
